Posts Tagged ‘underboob’

An Apology.

September 27, 2008

Well, this post is my way of apologizing for bumming you out with my last post. Of course, it may seem odd that I have sandwiched a post about suicide in between boobs and Jesus riding a dinosaur. But you know what? I don’t have to justify myself to you. I contain multitudes… and one of my many facets has a taste for the underboob.

“What’s an underboob?” You may ask. And I may reply, “Shut your mouth, this is a lecture, not a discussion.” Now then. Underboob is cleavage, but from the underside of a woman’s breasts.

Also known as "Underhill" which is an inside joke for hobbits.

Also known as "underhill" which, I hear, is a big joke amongst hobbits.

There isn’t anything inately more interesting about underboob than any other section of the boob, except for it’s rarity. Sure, she may not be showing anymore skin than a woman in a low cut shirt, but…meh…, I see cleavage all the time. It’s lost its novelty (Note: It has not lost its novelty). Maybe it’s better say that the underboob is a diamond and the rest of the breast is a sapphire. Still pretty, but far more accessible.

What the hell is he talking about?

What the hell is he talking about?

Alright, let me try this again. Maybe let’s talk steaks. All steaks are good, but the underboob is the filet mignon of the breast. A delicacy. Something you don’t get very often, but treat yourself too when the opportunity arises.

Actually, don’t take that metaphor any further…

To distract you from the above paragraph, here is how I would remake Attack of the Clones!

I see your schartz is as big as mine!

I see your schwartz is as big as mine!