On Voting.

I had a conversation over the weekend with a woman who is both very religious and very Republican. Basically, the anti-Interesting Guy. The tone was light and cordial since I’ve found that changing someone’s mind about religion and politics is near impossible–even if you are using “reason” and “logic,” which, I might add, goes against the concept of “faith.” Anyways, it got me thinking a bit about the American voter, and how ill informed we can keep ourselves even in the age of information, where we are constantly buffeted and saturated by political coverage (biased as it is).

What brings this up were two stray comments that I tried very hard not to wince at, and keep my mouth shut. I did anyways, of course, as is my nature, but the thought was there! But at least I didn’t yell…much.

The first was a dig directly at Obama. Apparently this woman would never vote for a Muslim. It’s a testament to my skull that my head did not explode or blood begin to leak out of my nose, mouth, and ears. I did, however, gently assure her that a) Obama was not a Muslim and b) even if he were, that does not make him a terrorist. I then asked her if she got that idea from the cover of the New Yorker. She stared confusedly at me for a moment until we made the connection that, no, actually, Obama rhymes with Osama. Of course, the name could have nothing to do with Obama’s father being Kenyan… but that’s not really the point, is it?

Probably also wrote the sign, "Lern Inglish or go hoem!"

Probably also wrote the sign,"Lern Inglish or go bak to ur Cuntry!" Just because you fail to see the irony, doesn't mean it isn't there.

The second was a double headed monster. She reminded me that Obama lacks credentials, and besides, Democrats don’t share her Christian morals. I then noted that Obama was, indeed, a Christian and that Palin has the credentials of someone who has little to no credentials, and that, if McCain were to somehow became unable to lead, she would be our president. Also, I may have mentioned that having Palin as a running mate was a ploy by the Republicans to pick up disenfranchised Hillary Clinton supporters. This woman did not agree. Apparently Hillary is a horrible woman (which may or may not be true, but hey, at least she’d be a smart horrible woman) who again, didn’t have the morals to run this country because God’s laws come before the constitution.

I'm not listening to my mother, why should you? (Apologies, this one wouldn't apply if her mother wa

I don't listen to my mother, why should you? (Ed. Note - Can we please educate kids about sex instead of preaching abstinance?)

My butthole tightened like I had just dropped the soap.

It is frightening to think that there are people out there who don’t believe in freedom of religion in America. You do realize that our country was founded by people who were trying to escape religious oppression (out of the way native people! we live here now! and we are super accepting!) right? And that the way democracy works is that everybody gets a voice in the governing body? This is not to mention the moral failings of the Republican Party which are, at LEAST, as egregious as those in the Democratic Party (no saints in politics boys and girls).

I guess my point in all of this is, there are some people that I don’t want to vote. Now, don’t get confused, I don’t care whether or not you are Christian or Republican, but at least know why you are those things. Also, know the FUCKING FACTS about the people that you would FUCKING VOTE INTO OFFICE! FUCK! BECAUSE THEY ARE RUNNING THE FUCKING COUNTRY!

Whoops! I broke it!

Whoops! I broke it!

Hey, you like McCain because he’d take a hard stance and potentially military action on Iran? Well, fuck you, but hey, that’s your right. I personally believe in diplomacy without preconditions and nut flexing, but you know, do whatever. And if you are for offshore drilling, you’re wrong, it won’t solve our problems, but at least you know what offshore drilling is.

Our country is in the greatest peril that it has faced since the depression and that is a direct result of people not knowing exactly what they were voting for.

Things are looking up! We are seeing negative gains across the board!

Things are looking up! We are seeing negative gains across the board!

I’d like to say I have a solution to this problem, but I don’t. I did suggest to one of my more politically savvy friends that maybe we should have a brief quiz before you are allowed into a voting booth. The questions would be simple:

-Who is the current Vice President?

-Who are the candidates in this election and what is their party?

-Who are those candidate’s vice president selections?

Only if you could answer at least two out of the three questions should you be allowed to vote. Of course my buddy reminded me that tests of the sort, especially if the tests went back into history for questions, are illegal since they discriminate against immigrants. He’s right, and I do strongly believe that immigrants need a voice in the way our country is governed.

The only solution to our current situation is if every voting person takes the responsibility upon his or herself to become educated about the issues that each candidate represents. That may even mean that you may not vote down party lines occasionally. Sometimes that’s warranted!

My father was born in 1938 and he tells me that this is the worst he has ever seen the economy and future of this country. If we are going to continue to compete in an international economy, we need to be smart as a people. We must break out of our complacency.

I imagine

I imagine that their accounting is a suitcase full of IOUs as seen in Dumb and Dumber.

Like the lolpolitics pictures? Check out PunditKitchen.com for more. They’re funny ’cause they’re true!… mostly…


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2 Responses to “On Voting.”

  1. madamvonsassypants Says:

    Bravo. Well said, sir. Makes me wish I still had the picture of the handmade, woodcarving from a bar in a small town near Salem that read:

    “Amarica: Freedom Isn’t Free”

    Nothing like misspelling the name of the very country you’re from and that you’re so patriotic for. I LOVE PEOPLE!

  2. Eric Says:

    Good Job. As a Christian, I have but one question I would like Christians to consider – if they want to mix religion with voting. My question is: How many mansions did Jesus own?

    No politician will live up to Christian expectation, and you can bet the ones that pound their chest the most and say they are Christians are the most likely not to be. The Republicans say they are against abortion. But are they? We just had 8 years of Republican president, did they really change the laws? No, they didn’t and they won’t, otherwise, what would they use to get more votes?. The major theme of the new testament is to take care of the poor. In fact, it says if you don’t take care of the poor, its the same as turning away Jesus himself. Now I ask you, which party takes care of the Poor? The Democrats. Republicans only want to take care of the super-wealthy, and they have sold their souls to the highest bidder. Thats why they vote the way their lobbyists tell them to.

    But even if you don’t believe all the stuff I just said, and you are a Christian voter, just ask yourself before you vote – How many mansions did Jesus feel it necessary to own?

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